a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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