Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
