Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
