Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just tell him i said nine months
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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