apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
