I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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