12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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