I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
