she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
