if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
