Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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