White coat. Heels.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
