she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
