Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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