How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
