Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
