All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
try to milk me bitch
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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