on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize