wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
