i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize