i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Randomize
