My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
