I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
