im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Damn victory sex feels great
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
