Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
