For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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