in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How does one acquire holy water?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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