Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
