i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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