Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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