I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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