The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
