You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
