I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
