he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I can't put those talents on a resume
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
