Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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