9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
