There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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