Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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