FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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