I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
