Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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