My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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