the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
