When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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