My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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