Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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