I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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