You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
