2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have tasted many bathrooms
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