I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is Oprah even human
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
