ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize