she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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