I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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