It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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