Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
